First of all's before I start writing this a very big thank you and apology to mummy and Daddy Mayowa because from the title they may be pissed but when they finish reading this they'll understand the context.
When I was quite younger and currently I never enjoyed the idea of a romantic relationship because people that know me we'll know that I'm more of a very socially awkward person, I could literally put on my best fit just to go and buy food and boom I'm back in my hostel and also Mummy Mayowa told me it's a distraction and that I don't need it, although I tried to go otherwise but when I saw it failed for me I just gave up.
However, my story is not your story, we could be quite different, I read something on quora and I was surprised, it said something about meeting your soulmate, some people literally meet their soulmate when their young, others meet theirs after they are married, if you know you know 😉 😂.
Love is a very good thing, the one I'm receiving from my family, my real friends and those standing in loco parentis to me are a big testament to that, the calls, genuine checkups that don't lead to billing 😂, the corrections and the gifts and the positive treatments. The love I receive from tm is not loud, it's peace, it's support not just mere or camera love it's one that accepts me even when I hate myself.
Okay this work is getting too personal and emotional, so I need to switch things up. In determining whether you need a relationship and not wanting a relationship, because a need supercedes a want is what I call the FEM factor. This stands for Financial, Emotional and Mental factor, if you have at least two of these three you are good to go but the unfortunate thing is that a lot of people without any of the three get into relationships and what's the end result– disaster, obviously.
Let's start from the financial factor. Yes, in any relationship (well at least from the little I know) money is a very essential thing and hey, I'm not a preacher of the fact that a relationship should become an adoption center, both parties should be capable to provide for each other and then support the other when needed, it will be wrong if a person who is finding it difficult to cater for himself to venture into a relationship and then start complaining, in that instance he has himself to blame. In such instance he consented to his own financial injury and peril. In my opinion, being in a relationship requires a lot of resources in the financial aspect, because I mean you'll go on dates, anything can occur with your partner financially and I feel if you don't have money to spare just leave relationships alone till you get to that level.
Moving on we move to the emotional aspect, in every relationship whether romantic or not there should be a level of emotional vulnerability, and you cannot be vulnerable emotionally where or when you are finding it difficult to trust someone. Trusting people in the sense that you can have a conversation with someone and tell the person of course a person you trust, anything, where you feel short, what you did wrong, a bad habit, being vulnerable about your insecurities and where you feel weak. A lot of people are scared to show this vulnerability and it's obvious because a lot of people are not to trusted and if care is not taken your pains and insecurities can be used to entertain guests.
Then lastly, the mental factor, this factor is the most underrated bit it needs to be really understood. If you're not mentally prepared for a thing there is a high tendency that you fumble or mess up such thing. In a relationship we have to be mentally ready, prepared and mature, your partner could be full of shortcomings you should be ready to build such a person not to tear the person down, you should be ready to sacrifice time and effort such a person, you should be ready to take such a person seriously and the mentally should be a we and not a me mentality it's not a personal but a collective journey.
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